Self reinvention or life redesign. No matter how you spin it this journey is hard as fuck. I often have people congratulating me on the changes I’ve made in my life and in the same breath asking me how I did it all so easily. Well, I’m here to tell you, this self reinvention process is anything but easy. It’s an ever evolving marathon of sorts that I couldn’t do without the support of my family, friends and those who have my best interest at heart. When I started this journey I wasn’t sure how to begin or how everything was going to unravel but, I did know that I couldn’t continue to live the life that I no longer resonated with. Regular exercise, healthy eating habits and daily moments of gratitude were also things that I adopted into my daily routine to help me through this transition. However, the 6 unconventional ways that I touch on in this blog were the real change makers that lead me to the life that I am lucky enough to live today.
This step was a hard one for me. Coming from working in a corporate environment in a big city, I always felt the need to have a never ending supply of clothes, accessories and ‘things’ in order to keep up with the ‘Joneses’. Who are the ‘Joneses’ and why do we care who they are? Once I took the big step of eliminating 90% of the things that no longer served their purpose in my life, I felt a sense of freedom that I can’t really explain. I now focus on investing my time and money into experiences rather than things.
Learn and practice Emotional Intelligence.
In short, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is learning how to identify and manage your emotions as well as the emotions of others. If you do only one of the steps in this list, I would highly recommend for you to understand and put into practice EI. I truly believe that this tool alone could change your life dramatically and for the better. When I was younger I had no clue how to manage my emotions appropriately. I often took things personally which lead to me spewing off at the mouth whenever I felt I was being judged, put down or treated unfairly. I’m sure that my lack of self awareness and inability to control my emotions in my 20’s lead to my depression, toxic relationships, missed opportunities and lack of confidence. I learned about EI at a conference I went to several years ago and it completely changed my life – personally and professionally. I still practice EI to this day but, if you want to see a huge change in how you respond to others and how others respond to you this is your golden ticket.
Do things by yourself (especially when you’re afraid to).
Have you ever wanted to do something on your own but, were afraid to for fear that someone would think that you’re a lonely loser? I get it, I’ve been there. When my ex partner and I broke up, one of the first things that I decided to do was to travel on my own. The thought of it was scary as shit but, I really felt the need to experience life on my own without a safety net by my side. You see, when you do things on your own, you’re forced to step out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable with whatever might come. That ‘whatever’ may end up being a life changing experience that will have you saying “Why the hell didn’t I do this along time ago?”. I met my current partner on my solo vacation and I would have never had the courage to leave my old life behind to start a new one if I hadn’t done so. This one simple step lead to me having a new relationship, new baby, new home, new career, new language, new life and I did it all scared.
Move to where nobody knows your name.
Moving to a new place, a new country, a new location where nobody knows who you are is one of the best ways to kick start your reinvention journey. Now, I know it may be difficult for some because there are many factors at play – kids, family support, finances etc. but, if you have the means, I highly encourage you to do it. A lot of people stay where they are even if they don’t like their current living situation because they are afraid of the unknown. What if I can’t find work? What if I don’t like where I live? What if I don’t make it? But, how about this, what if you do find work? What if you love where you live? What if you make it all the way baby! When I decided to move to where my partner lived, I focused on the successes of what could happen and not the failure of what might not. If you always say “I can’t”, then you won’t. My advice, plan smartly, be open to everything and if it doesn’t work out just know that you can always go to plan B, C, D, E.
Experiment more sexually.
The more you do it, the crazier it is, the better you get at it and the more fun it will be. This will liberate you in ways you never imagined possible. I’m just going to leave this one right here.
Remember that nothing lasts forever.
Remembering that nothing lasts forever goes for the good and the bad. My self reinvention journey has been a roller coaster of excitement, self doubt, loneliness, extreme happiness, magical moments and the list goes on and on. The good and the bad awarded me with guts, courage, strength, patience, chutzpah, love and gratitude. Everything I needed, wanted and more. Whether you’re in the shit or in the bliss I encourage you to sit in it, feel it and don’t cover it up with anything else that will distract you from it’s purpose. This bittersweet spot, whether it’s filled with pain or happiness, is preparing you for the magic that’s about to come.
Now go forth, do it and do it scared. This is Uncomfortable Bliss.