I know this must sound strange but, getting dumped by my ex really saved my life. There’s something to be said about being forced to move on from a relationship that you know wasn’t working and gaining the courage to start a whole new life that wasn’t in your plans. I remember the day like it was yesterday when she told me that she wasn’t in love anymore. The news hit me like a Mack truck. I was shocked and confused – although I shouldn’t have been. It had been a toxic relationship for a long time really and it was no one’s fault. Our relationship was meant to only last a season, the type of relationship that you learn and move on from and so we did. After selling our 3000 sq.ft. home I was handed my walking papers and I remember sleeping on a blow up bed in my new 700 sq.ft. apartment. I refused to take most of the things from our home together, including our bed, as I didn’t want any memories lingering in my new space. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t leave the relationship kicking and screaming. Kicking and screaming. Kicking and screaming. I didn’t move on gracefully. However, I actually wanted to go and move on to start a new life. I was just afraid of what a new life meant and how I was going to start over as I approached midlife. A few months after I moved out I still couldn’t get it together. After all, moving on from a long-term relationship (12 years to be exact), a family and a life wasn’t an overnight thing but, I knew that it was all for the best.
My sister called me up one night to chit chat and to see how I was doing. I told her that I was depressed and sad. She asked why. I said, “why do you think!?” I think that after a few months of being on my own she thought that I had gotten over everything and moved on. She then replied, “Listen, you’re beautiful, you’re healthy, you have this kick ass apartment, you have a great career, you make a lot of money. Why do you care that ONE person doesn’t want to be with you?” A bit harsh I thought she was but, it was the slap in the face and wake up call that I needed. It felt good to hear. It was a refreshing change from the pray, take time for yourself, don’t think about it, time heals all wounds speeches that I had been getting.
Ok. this story is getting long and boring so let’s get to the point. I’m not writing this to make people feel sorry for me in anyway. I write this because I’m just 1 of a zillion people who’ve gone through the same experiences and even a zillion more that have had it worse than I. And they survived. You survived. I survived. There’s this quote I love that reads “First it hurts. Then it changes you.” No matter what age you are and no matter what your circumstances are everything is temporary. The good, the bad, the ugly – it’s all temporary. Embrace it all, learn from it and move on from being a victim to being victorious. Getting dumped saved my life because I didn’t have the courage to leave when I should have but, I now have the courage to live my life like I should be. How amazingly scary and magical is that? This is Uncomfortable Bliss.